This Sunday is the 2nd annual Breakthrough Fusion Competition its a chance to take whatever style of bellydance that one does, bring in some other styles and see what happens. No two acts are the same. Last year I fused elements of Kung Fu and Tai Chi. I also dealt with a heavy dose of stage fright and boy did that show.
This time around my goal is to be emotionally wide open on stage, intense, messy, expressive, and have the audience and judges along for the ride. Yes I'm nervous but I'm not scared at all. I'm using a blend of my bellydance vocabulary with elements of ballet and contemporary dance. The veil is my partner and not being used in the traditional sense of being "pretty pretty princess".
I'm not going there to try to win, I'm going to show myself that the old fears, the old problems have no hold on me any more,I'm using dance to heal myself ,and want to eventually help others do the same. Let the movements bring to light whatever lies under the surface and let it out through the heart, toes and the fingers. When its all said and done the no longer useful energies will be left behind, on the floor, and the spirit will be strong.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Closing Out The Year
On various social network sites there have been many posts today from friends and family about the past year and what they want different for next year. Its interesting to note how many give great weight to the idea of a resolution.
I don't do resolutions, I never have. I'm more about a constant process of evolving and discovery rather than creating a hard and fast thing. I don't mind being honest with myself and setting realistic goals, but I do that all through the year rather than saying "ok on January 1st I'll REALLY try this time." No time like this exact moment, December 31 at 4:20pm. I'm going to continue my plan of living my life as fully as possible. I'm going to continue learning about what I want to pursue spiritually, getting myself out there more as a pro bellydancer, love more, have compassion for myself and others, keep stretching physically and emotionally, and continue writing as much or as little will spill onto the page.
Looking forward to 2010, 2009 was pretty great overall.
I don't do resolutions, I never have. I'm more about a constant process of evolving and discovery rather than creating a hard and fast thing. I don't mind being honest with myself and setting realistic goals, but I do that all through the year rather than saying "ok on January 1st I'll REALLY try this time." No time like this exact moment, December 31 at 4:20pm. I'm going to continue my plan of living my life as fully as possible. I'm going to continue learning about what I want to pursue spiritually, getting myself out there more as a pro bellydancer, love more, have compassion for myself and others, keep stretching physically and emotionally, and continue writing as much or as little will spill onto the page.
Looking forward to 2010, 2009 was pretty great overall.
The Illusions Around Us
Had this saved for a while and still can't really put into words how much impact this video has on me. Its what I feel whenever I talk to someone who's tired of feeling lost. If nothingelse I want to just hold out my arms and give them a hug!
We are all walking various paths in life and when it gets to the point that you realize your path is no longer your own it can be very scary to break loose to try for something else.
Raising Healthy Children
I'm not just meaning that they eat all of their vegtables, goodness knows mine sure do. But are they completely healthy and happy from the insides of their minds, to the smile on their face, way down to the tips of their toes?
I'm trying on a daily basis to teach my two girls (ages 6 & 8) about different ways of being healthy. That expressing anger is ok, expressing it by screaming in your sister's face...not so much. Instead introducing the idea of meditation and journaling. Its on a very small scale and more "monkey see, monkey do" at this point but its creating some great spaces and conversations.
Its a chance for me to learn about not just teaching them but to take care of my own little child who's got her own scars. We've started tackling the conversations about Spirituality and I try and include them in what I'm learning in school. My oldest and I went on a "date" to the coffee shop the other night and she very maturely asked me about what I was learning in school, did I like my books, my classmates, and my teacher. She wanted to then talk about things that "were going on with her", she recently experienced the loss of her pet rat and had been writing about it in a class journal. It was about her feelings, her being scared to love her new rat, being angry and taking it out on her sister, wondering if she did somethign to cause the tumor to grow. Pretty heavy conversations to have with an 8 year old and I think many parents don't encourage that level of discussion with their children. She'd been trying to talk to friends about it but hadn't gotten very far.
I'm really eager to not only experience my own growth as I learn in the Holistic Health Education program but to be able to share that knowledge with the next generation. I've heard from teachers and other adults at school that both of my girls have mentioned to others that they need some "chill out time" and will go sit somewhere and breathe. Don't know if it will catch on with any of the other kids but at least I hear about mine trying things out and finding out what works for them.
I'm trying on a daily basis to teach my two girls (ages 6 & 8) about different ways of being healthy. That expressing anger is ok, expressing it by screaming in your sister's face...not so much. Instead introducing the idea of meditation and journaling. Its on a very small scale and more "monkey see, monkey do" at this point but its creating some great spaces and conversations.
Its a chance for me to learn about not just teaching them but to take care of my own little child who's got her own scars. We've started tackling the conversations about Spirituality and I try and include them in what I'm learning in school. My oldest and I went on a "date" to the coffee shop the other night and she very maturely asked me about what I was learning in school, did I like my books, my classmates, and my teacher. She wanted to then talk about things that "were going on with her", she recently experienced the loss of her pet rat and had been writing about it in a class journal. It was about her feelings, her being scared to love her new rat, being angry and taking it out on her sister, wondering if she did somethign to cause the tumor to grow. Pretty heavy conversations to have with an 8 year old and I think many parents don't encourage that level of discussion with their children. She'd been trying to talk to friends about it but hadn't gotten very far.
I'm really eager to not only experience my own growth as I learn in the Holistic Health Education program but to be able to share that knowledge with the next generation. I've heard from teachers and other adults at school that both of my girls have mentioned to others that they need some "chill out time" and will go sit somewhere and breathe. Don't know if it will catch on with any of the other kids but at least I hear about mine trying things out and finding out what works for them.
Sooo Men Are From Mars?
My mom brought me the "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" book a few days after Christmas. I started it a few years ago when a friend lent it to us but never finished it. I figured I might as well now. Some of the themes resonate with me, many of them don't. I prefer different types of communication rather than just trying to navigate around not ticking my partner off.
But on a more Holistic thread I hit on a segment that briefly touched on the author's thought around physical diseases being manifestations of emotional issues. AND he mentioned that not having a spiritual grounding could be a part of the larger problem as well. I was very impressed and eager to see that a book that's "gone viral" in many ways was connecting many of those same dots. Granted its a very small paragraph in the book and may get overlooked by many, but it was comforting to see it there.
This visit from my parents also brought up more discussions around Holistic, Integral and what these sorts of ideas mean. My parents have been very supportive of my educational path and very eager to soak in what I've been learning and then I see some of it reflected back.
But on a more Holistic thread I hit on a segment that briefly touched on the author's thought around physical diseases being manifestations of emotional issues. AND he mentioned that not having a spiritual grounding could be a part of the larger problem as well. I was very impressed and eager to see that a book that's "gone viral" in many ways was connecting many of those same dots. Granted its a very small paragraph in the book and may get overlooked by many, but it was comforting to see it there.
This visit from my parents also brought up more discussions around Holistic, Integral and what these sorts of ideas mean. My parents have been very supportive of my educational path and very eager to soak in what I've been learning and then I see some of it reflected back.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Healing Through Dance
"Dance Like No One OR Everyone Is Watching"
As a dancer who performs professionally I've become very interested in learning more about my personal journey and the impact that movement has on healing. I stepped into my first bellydance class almost 5 years ago. Initially drawn to the dance by the music I have enjoyed learning a variety of styles, some more Westernized and recently more traditional styles.
Along the way I've encountered roadblocks from a physical and emotional sense. I'm not a very flexible person and progress has been very slow, even with a consistent yoga practice. But looking at early videos and where I'm at now...its worlds of difference.
Most recently I've begun establishing a style that allows me to be vulnerable and feminine yet strong. I've watched the nearly crippling stage fright begin to melt away and feel a gentle ease when I'm out in front of an audience. I believe I'm stepping into my right as a woman to be beautiful. Through the use of rhythm and movement I'm refashioning the ideas I want to present to an audeince.
'Imagine, beauty as a doorway, we can walk through. When we open the door, we find our (brothers and) sisters waiting there to greet us. We see our own beauty mirrored in their eyes. We know that our beauty does not detract from their beauty, but rather exists in connection and support of it. We are most beautiful when we are beautiful, together.' ~Lorraine Lafata, MSW, LICSW and bellydancer
How are you finding beauty in your life and celebrating it?
As a dancer who performs professionally I've become very interested in learning more about my personal journey and the impact that movement has on healing. I stepped into my first bellydance class almost 5 years ago. Initially drawn to the dance by the music I have enjoyed learning a variety of styles, some more Westernized and recently more traditional styles.
Along the way I've encountered roadblocks from a physical and emotional sense. I'm not a very flexible person and progress has been very slow, even with a consistent yoga practice. But looking at early videos and where I'm at now...its worlds of difference.
Most recently I've begun establishing a style that allows me to be vulnerable and feminine yet strong. I've watched the nearly crippling stage fright begin to melt away and feel a gentle ease when I'm out in front of an audience. I believe I'm stepping into my right as a woman to be beautiful. Through the use of rhythm and movement I'm refashioning the ideas I want to present to an audeince.
'Imagine, beauty as a doorway, we can walk through. When we open the door, we find our (brothers and) sisters waiting there to greet us. We see our own beauty mirrored in their eyes. We know that our beauty does not detract from their beauty, but rather exists in connection and support of it. We are most beautiful when we are beautiful, together.' ~Lorraine Lafata, MSW, LICSW and bellydancer
How are you finding beauty in your life and celebrating it?
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Who Is This Chick Anyway?
Hello there and welcome to my blog! I'm currently a few weeks into a new journey in my life, a Master's in Holistic Health Education. Already I've reworked my definitions of the words Holistic, Integral, & Spiritual. I've started to expand my understanding of several world religions and gaining awareness of what my own spiritual path might be after years of avoiding much of anything because nothing felt like it fit.
However I'm more than just a student; I've been married for 16+ years, in a polyamorous relationship, have two lovely daughters, an avid student of Middle Eastern Dance, and love to explore my artistic side on projects ranging from charcoal portraits to helping build pieces of a rocketship that went to Burning Man last summer.
I've chosen the "last name" of Asiya as it means "one who heals" in Arabic. I've done a lot of personal healing through dance, love, and spiritual exploration in the last few years and now want to carry that forward to other people.
Welcome and I encourage any comments or questions!
However I'm more than just a student; I've been married for 16+ years, in a polyamorous relationship, have two lovely daughters, an avid student of Middle Eastern Dance, and love to explore my artistic side on projects ranging from charcoal portraits to helping build pieces of a rocketship that went to Burning Man last summer.
I've chosen the "last name" of Asiya as it means "one who heals" in Arabic. I've done a lot of personal healing through dance, love, and spiritual exploration in the last few years and now want to carry that forward to other people.
Welcome and I encourage any comments or questions!
Seeking A Way
I've been doing a lot of thinking and discussing the past couple of months about what's brought me to this new chapter in life to pursue holistic health education. Between the segment on Buddhism in my World Religions class and several chapters in "Spirit and Science of Health" I was inspired to write the following piece.
********************************************************
Are we so lost that we have no connection to who we are? Standing, oft silent screaming, “What am I doing here anyway?” Waging war upon ourselves until we become
Faster
Better
Stronger
Or so we think
Fooled into combating our way through existence, a desperate effort to avoid bearing witness what is actually happening. Clinging stubbornly to our experiences with
Would
Should
Want
Labyrinthine misunderstanding
Striving ever onward with ferocity, running roughshod over the delights that are in the now. Until shown a brief moment that offers
Unraveling
Understanding
Awareness
Did you feel it?
********************************************************
Are we so lost that we have no connection to who we are? Standing, oft silent screaming, “What am I doing here anyway?” Waging war upon ourselves until we become
Faster
Better
Stronger
Or so we think
Fooled into combating our way through existence, a desperate effort to avoid bearing witness what is actually happening. Clinging stubbornly to our experiences with
Would
Should
Want
Labyrinthine misunderstanding
Striving ever onward with ferocity, running roughshod over the delights that are in the now. Until shown a brief moment that offers
Unraveling
Understanding
Awareness
Did you feel it?
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