The Thing About Balance

 Lately in class readings, course discussion, and  other life events I keep running across the theme of balance. Not just in being able to do many things at one time, but embracing the "bad" along with the "good". I'm starting to see that things just "are" and I can choose how I react to them. Sometimes I allow myself to celebrate, other times to mourn. Whatever feels appropriate to me to express at the time. I wrote this almost two years ago and its still speaking to me so I'll share it here.

"Balance"

Shadows dance across the water

Chasing the light,

Providing balance

Shape to form

Unable to exist without the other

Carefully poised in movement

Encouraging growth

Ultimately fading

The end it is not, merely the beginning

Circling eternally around

Gently rocking us

While awakening our souls

Hemophilia Walk

Hemophilia Walk

I'm going to be participating in the Northern California Hemophilia Foundation's Walk A Thon on April 17 2010! It's at Cesar Chavez park in Berkeley.

I'm looking for both walkers to join my team and donors to help us raise funds!

Thank you!

Grounding Exercise

This is taken from my first week's exercise in Somatic Psychology. I was struck by how simple of an exercise it is and found that I enjoyed figuring out ways in the various positions to get a sense of being connected the the earth.


Why Grounding?

When I am grounded, I can fully feel my physical body and how it interacts with what is around me. My  feet and legs are strong and stable. My senses are operating optimally, so that colors are vibrant and sounds are clear. In my experience, grounding allows for a good sense of smell and taste. I get the sense of being fully alive and life feels rich, immediate and real.

I notice that when I am ungrounded I don't function very well, often I feel as if I'm the flailing image of Kermit the Frog. My mind is distracted and cannot focus well. My body does not feel strong and solid. My feet do not seem to be fully touching the Earth. Often I experience clumsiness with an increased tendency to bump into things. I'll experience the external environment either as dull, farther away and less solid or at the other extreme too heavy and intrusive.

Exercise in Grounding

Grounding can be done from a sitting, standing or lying-down position. Practice in all three positions because you will find that it works a little differently in each. Usually we face our most challenging situations when we are in a vertical position, so it makes sense that we practice holding our grounding while we are standing or seated. Lying down is the most relaxing. This position has the advantage of being a little easier to master.

The Basics

Begin by closing your eyes and focusing your awareness on the base of your spine. Your energy will follow your awareness. Imagine a point of light on the tip of your spine. This will help you access an important energy center that will facilitate grounding. It is sometimes called the root center. Breathe gently as you take your awareness inside. Draw the breath into the root center, imagine that a beautiful golden light is riding on the breath. Leave the light in the first center as you exhale. You are feeding your root with energy, allowing it to take on a stronger charge. 

Talk with your root, ask it to expand, open and fill. Continue with your focus, breathing in both light and space. Wait. Use the attitude of expectancy without expectation. Notice where the root starts to respond. Perhaps it is more active in the front or the back, or maybe the left side or the right side. 

There is no need for the mind to understand how all of this works. Your energetic system knows perfectly how to do this. Your task is to focus your awareness and state your request. Let your system respond. Pay more attention to the sensation of what is going on than to the visual images you are getting. 

Allow the root and pelvic bowl to fill with light. Once this occurs, imagine a line or cord of energy extending from the root center into the Earth. If you are standing, the line will drop down between your legs. If you are sitting, it will drop from the base of your spine downward. If you are lying down, the line will drop down perpendicularly from your horizontal body. Ask that the line move deep into the center of the Earth, finding a clear and stable point. 

Breathe energy from the Earth up the line and into your pelvic bowl. Breathe back down the line and up again, raising the Earth energy only as far as the waist. Let any overflow spill down into your legs. You are "weaving" yourself with the Earth and letting her become an extension of you. Feel the support that is there for you. An entire planet! Now ask that the vibration of the heart of the Earth open in you. Notice what happens. Allow your body to adjust. If you do not notice anything, that is okay. It does not mean that nothing is happening. You just may not be able to perceive it yet. 

Give your self time to explore this connection. Observe your reactions to it. If you detect any resistance, ask yourself to gently soften. Notice the attitudes that your mind holds. Breathe. You are breathing with the Earth. Just notice. Judge nothing. Give yourself time. This is how you open the door to feeling at home in your body. This is how you allow your body to show you its support and strength. 

Once you feel you have opened and connected with the Earth, thank your body and energetic system. Thank the Earth for what she has given you. Ask your cells to memorize the sensation of grounding so that in the future you can simply remember the sensation and you will automatically strengthen your grounding capacity. 

Have fun with this! :-)

Information is Beautiful

http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/play/snake-oil-supplements/

Neat graphic showing the uses and popularity of various supplements as well as their efficacy.

I Me Wed

Creating A Marriage With Yourself

The above article is interestingly enough similar to a concept that I was struck by last year. I was experiencing a great deal of uncertainty about who I was and my abilities to handle life and relationships. I decided to make myself my priority, not just in words but in actions. I started to take a look at the way my inner critical voice treated me, it wasn't very nice. In fact it was a tone and manner that I wouldn't tolerate from another person, let alone someone I was in an intimate relationship with. It was a bit like being bonked in the head with an "ah ha!"

At first it felt awkward and unwieldy, but it was solidified for me that I NEEDED to do this when a few people I'd encountered were very vocal in their support of this process.

After reading the above article I feel like I have even more language for saying, "Hey Nancy, you are pretty awesome and I'm going to treat you that way."

It feels like the start of a beautiful relationship. :-)

Escaping Fear's Gravity

A year ago I could barely dance on stage, I would get overwhelmed by stage fright and my body posture was not open. I was too scared to share anything about myself, I didn't trust myself to show it properly and I was afraid of being rejected. Scary stuff at a normal performance, even worse at a competition. It wasn't just fear of the audience, it was deeper than that but I didn't know how to access that...I was not willing to go there. It took several months of mindfulness about how I was dancing and "faking it" before the ease and confidence I was looking for started moving through me. It also coincided with several personal events where I was moving away from old habits and ways of being. No longer was I leaning on a dance teacher, relationship partner, or friend to figure out who I was, I'd started doing that for myself. Facing my world with my head up, heart open, palms up, and not hunching away from it. It was as if someone had flipped a switch inside me, changing the way I was wired. Its not easy to stay that way though, old demons come back, they lure, taunt, and try to coerce me back into not trusting myself to be who I am. I'm ok with it being a back and forth for the forseeable future, I know it will get easier to manage each time it comes up.

All of this is what inspired my piece for the Breakthrough Fusion Competition. It was the ideal venue for me to show my fear exactly who was in charge (didn't hurt to have that acknowledged by the judges). This is the most real dancing I've ever done and I want to keep exploring this sort of thing.


http://www.vimeo.com/8876654

Dance, Dance The Fears Away

This Sunday is the 2nd annual Breakthrough Fusion Competition its a chance to take whatever style of bellydance that one does, bring in some other styles and see what happens. No two acts are the same. Last year I fused elements of Kung Fu and Tai Chi. I also dealt with a heavy dose of stage fright and boy did that show.

This time around my goal is to be emotionally wide open on stage, intense, messy, expressive, and have the audience and judges along for the ride. Yes I'm nervous but I'm not scared at all. I'm using a blend of my bellydance vocabulary with elements of ballet and contemporary dance. The veil is my partner and not being used in the traditional sense of being "pretty pretty princess".

I'm not going there to try to win, I'm going to show myself that the old fears, the old problems have no hold on me any more,I'm using dance to heal myself ,and want to eventually help others do the same. Let the movements bring to light whatever lies under the surface and let it out through the heart, toes and the fingers. When its all said and done the no longer useful energies will be left behind, on the floor, and the spirit will be strong.